Rogue’s Top Ten Monsters – Pt. 1

21Feb09

Time to pick some pockets! Stealing from a variety of places today, but namely tenletter, Monsters and Manuals, and the Ghost Tower of Dustiness.

Anyways the above blogs have got me thinking and  I have decided to post up my favorite 10 monsters from the annals of D&D history.

A quick definition of favorite – these are monsters that have made an impression on me through playing or DMing.  While there are some sweet monsters out there, I hesitate to include them unless I’ve played them .  . .

Without further ado:

10. DROW – A classic, I know. But a race of evil beings that dwell beneath the earth, living in a self-imposed Machiavellian nightmare where you can trust no one and the language is officially “Lies” is just too fun to ignore. Wow, I just realized how similar The House of Representatives and the Drow are!

Your Congresswoman from the state of . . .

Your Congresswoman from the state of . . .

9. MIND FLAYERS – I know, I am boring . . . keeping with the classics, but, seriously, c’mon . . . THEY’RE MIND FLAYERS!!! These things are guaranteed to make your player shit their pants, regardless of level. Also they are Cthulhu-inspired, and a well known fact is Cthulhu is actually gamer for “we love it regardless of X”. So who cares if they stole zombies schtick (mmm . brains), they are Cthulhu-inspired!

8. BULLYWUG - When I was young and foolish (as opposed to me now when I am youngish and foolish), my friends and I use to trudge through the swamp and collect frogs/toads. Slowly we would meander through mud and muck until the birch trees parted and a street bridge came into view, crossing over the swamp. We would then hurl our amphibious treasures with great glee at passing cars that zipped by overhead. I am not proud of this, it was the foolishness of youthful boyishness. However, I think that whomever designed bullywugs did similar things as a lad — bullywugs are 1st level characters wet dreams. They are dumber than kobolds and less vicious than goblins. In short, frogs are stupid.

7.  CAVE FISHER – I have some odd, sick obsession with cave fishers. I’ve even statted one up to place into my 4e game. Like many obsessions, I was in denial for a long time; it took the bold words of one of my players to alert me to the fact that I “always” used cave fishers in subterranean settings. Naturally, moments later a sticky line of death snatched him from the rear of the party and ended his miserable, whiny, smart-ass life. I opted to roleplay the entire scene.

6. WRAITH – These were always the scariest monsters for PCs to face. They use to drain levels, you know. Players would rather die a thousand deaths than lose a level. Seriously, they are frightening; I don’t even have a lame joke for these baddies.

Level Stealingh SOBs

Level Stealing SOBs

5. MORKOTH – Here’s their thing: they lair at the bottom of the ocean in a big chamber that has 6 winding, spiralling tunnels leading to the chamber. The tunnels are so, um, spirally they are hypnotic; so as you traverse the tunnels (again, at the BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN) you become entranced and sit complacently as the beast eats you.

Now tell me that’s not a monster with traction and myriad applications!

Why does nobody ever visit?

Why does nobody ever visit?

4. OTYUGH – Ok, another confession. I have a small obsession with placing Otyughs at the bottom of dungeon latrines. I KNOW I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE! And besides, I’ve only done it twice . . .ah, the look on the player’s face . . .

The Oscar the Grouch of the D&D world.

The Oscar the Grouch of the D&D world.

I’ve opted to hold on to the top 3, as they require a bit more thought; I will post them soon.



4 Responses to “Rogue’s Top Ten Monsters – Pt. 1”

  1. I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one with an Otyugh fetish… and you actually say that there are more of us out there?

  2. 2 The Last Rogue

    Oh yeah, I am sure there is at least one or two more otyugh-dependent DMs floating around.

    Perhaps, we should start a support group :)

    Thanks for commenting.


  1. 1 Cave Fisher 4e « Thieves’ Cant
  2. 2 Statuesque women, skullwearing unipeds, and 3 feet to the left « Thieves’ Cant

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